Regardless of whether we were raised in the org or not, being part of a family is a dynamic replete with problems, some real, some perceived. I concur with Blondie in that we can only be the best that "we" can be. Where we have made changes and come to the realization that we were not the best parent, son or daughter, husband or wife, or even friend that we could have been, we need to own up to that and make the committment to strive to be better. That, unfortunately, is all you can do. Water under the bridge has either evaporated or is dammed up somewhere, either way, it has been moved along by time. Some of us can put aside the wrongs, others bathe themselves in them. Some find their present course toxic and make changes, others seem to only function in that caustic environment.
Be the best you that you can be. When we take ownership of the mistakes that we have made as parents, sons or daughters, husbands or wives, or even friends, we can move on and attempt to make things better. We cannot, however, control the reactions of those against whom the mistakes were made. We leave that ball in their court, but in doing so, they know that we are ready to lovingly volley in the future.
Kind regards,
SOP